While we’re on the viewing experience, the Defensive
Specialist had the opportunity to chat with a buddy who’d been at the Brisbane
Bandits home opener on Thursday night. Interestingly he said that if he hadn’t been at the league launching game last
week he would have rated the Brisbane experience as quite good. However, the
Blue Sox experience really stood out for him with components that worked for
all range of fans – kids, parents and baseball purists. Another interesting aside gleaned from his travels is
that the ABL seems to be operating a cash-only economy. If you’re the type of
person who only carries plastic then you’re going to be in a world of hurt and
look like a degenerate when you have an armful of merchandise and not the
prerequisite $495 in cash needed to seal the deal. Fortunately the Defensive
Specialist always rolls with fat wads so he’ll be fine (did that just set the
Defensive Specialist up to be jumped in the car park?).
Anyway, back to the game.
As you know, the Defensive Specialist applied the
print equivalent of a blowtorch to both teams’ coaches responsible for infield
outfield, and more specifically the catchers pop-up, in the past week. Both
efforts last week were best described as feeble and while that may have been
acceptable in the amateur Claxton Shield, we’re now in the big boys league and
excellence is demanded. Canberra took the field first and coach Brent Phelan
showed physical signs of being rattled with some less than stellar fungo work.
When it came time to nail his dime piece, he tried unsuccessfully to covertly
wipe the sweat off his hands – clear signs that his nerves had got the better
of him. The ball toss looked ok but when it came to contact, well put it this
way if he was playing tennis the cut backhand that resulted would have been
exceptional. Unfortunately such a shot on the baseball diamond results in the
ball heading out of the stadium rapidly. Phelan knew that he didn’t have the
intestinal fortitude for another attempt and exited the playing field hastily.
Rumour has it that Blue Sox coach Jason Pospishil
(that name NEVER gets any easier to spell and always auto corrects to popsicle
so from now on its going to be Jason Popsicle) had spent the entire week
working on his dime piece. The fungo work looked crisp and clean during the
innie outtie but the proof would be in the pudding when it came to the money
shot. Popsicle didn’t look as physically rattled as Phelan but stress doesn’t
always manifest outwardly and who knew how badly his insides were twisting. To
the untrained eye it would appear that Popsicle arched his back and put a good
hack on it. To the Defensive Specialist’s acute eye Popsicle had a slight nerve
induced micro twitch a nano second before contact. Although he managed good
height, the slight hitch in his swing caused him to be late on the ball which
sent it straight back. Although it stayed in the yard and in line with the
plate, catcher Andy Graham snared it right on the screen which is barely
acceptable at this level.
If things don’t improve on Saturday night, the
Defensive Specialist may have to convene an emergency dime piece hitting
session! The Blue Sox take the win in this contest but it’s a cheap W and one
that you don’t tell your friends about over a beer.
The week break in between games gave both managers the
flexibility to reuse their staff aces. Blue Sox skipper Glenn Williams seized
that opportunity and wheeled his pitching coach Chris Oxspring back out to the
mound. Oxspring was looking to replicate his first outing which would once
again enable him to tell the rest of his pitching staff that he still has it
and that they should all do it exactly as he does. The Multiculturalists had
changed up their line-up offensively by adding the dangerous bat of Michael
Collins and adding a new second baseman from parts unknown Tylor Purdhomme.
The Sydney in game entertainment crew has received
positive reviews in this forum but perhaps does not get enough credit for the
psychological battles they wage on opposing hitters. You’ve heard of hitters
having walk up music as they approach the plate – typically a hitter will pick
a song they like or that fires them up. Well the Blue Sox crew go the opposite
direction and play the schmaltziest and schlockiest tunes they can find in the
hope that it’ll drain every ounce of testosterone out of the hitters and
prevent them from getting the ball out of the infield.
That approach definitely worked with Didi and Moon who
both feebly grounded out to second but Nick Kimpton proved to be smarter than
your average bear by stuffing toilet paper in his ears and then punching a ball
into the 5.5 hole that Michael Lysaught couldn’t make a play on. Collins
succumbed to the musical hypnosis and ended the inning by grounding out 4-3.
J.H Heo took the ball for the Multiculturalists and
decided that his first ABL start was the perfect time to bust out his shiny
white spikes with Velcro tabs instead of laces. This is a bad look on so many
levels A) these shoes should only be worn by 65+ year olds at a lawn bowl match
and B) nowhere in the baseball fashion universe does it say that white spikes
are acceptable with an orange and black uniform. The baseball Gods will have
their revenge the Defensive Specialist predicts!
Both pitchers cruised through 2 innings surrendering
only 1 hit apiece (Heo gave up a crushed double by the Bossman to the right
centre gap in the second) At the start of the third inning the Blue Sox in-game
entertainment came crashing down with a dumb game that had 2 kids racing to put
on oversized uniforms. It dragged on for what seemed like an hour and felt like
a women’s change room at a major department store during a 75% off sale. It was
so bad that it scrambled the announcing team who left Trent D’Antonio’s walk up
music running during his at bat. Fortunately it happened to be the Defensive
Specialist’s favourite band – Pearl Jam and inspired D’Antonio enough that he
hammered a first pitch fastball out of the yard for the Blue Sox’s first run. Techno
Tim pulled a double down the left-field line just as his lasers and 11,000
beats per minute walk up routine was turned off. Heo was on the ropes, but fortunately
for him Mitch Dening has chosen a walk up song that is fairly soft to start
with so he has to take a long slow walk to the plate in order to draw the song
out enough until it gets to the macho part. This gave Heo enough time to
regroup and get Dening on a 4-3 groundout.
The Multiculturalists struck back in the top of the 4th
when Nick Kimpton crushed a homerun to right. Kimpton broke out a somewhat
disjointed homerun trot which appeared to be the result of the toilet paper in his
ears getting caught in his spikes. Donald Lutz came up with a chalk raising
double down the left line and Tom Vincent plated him with a single to leftfield. As Lutz chugged
for home there was a moment of indecision when Andy Graham weighed up blocking
the plate and trying to back hand a short hop (and being steamrolled by Lutz
who is a solid unit) or clearing out and avoiding all contact. He decided to
avoid all contact, which was disappointing because Lutz Vs. Graham would have
been the meeting of two immoveable objects.
The Blue Sox were at it again in the 5th.
David Kandilas led off with a firm line drive to right for a single and D’Antonio
walked. Multiculturalist manager Steve Schrenk had seen enough and went to his
pen, bringing in Jung-Min Lee. As Lee finished his warm up, the lights suddenly
cut out and 13000 beats per minute came over the loud speakers. The fans leapt
to their feet as the following instructional video was shown on the jumbotron.
Yes, it was Techno Tim Auty time! Auty punched a ball through the infield for a
single to load the bases. Dening unsuccessfully mugged his way to the plate,
yet again denying the crowd a chance to hear the cool part of his song, but
made up for it by belting a long drive to the right centre gap that hopped over
the fence for a ground rule double plating two runners. Stone Hands Maat put an
excuse me check swing on a ball to short that scored Techno and moved Dening to
third. A scary moment took place when Graham scorched a line drive down the
third base line that smashed in to Dening as he took his lead. For a second the
Defensive Specialist thought the ball had struck Dening directly in his baby
makers but when he promptly popped up the Defensive Specialist realised that
his testicles had not been ruptured and the blow had been to the leg. Graham
walked, which lead to Lee’s night being over. Lefty Chris Morgan relieved and
despite not cracking 82mph managed to punch out the Bossman and Lysaught to end
the inning.
Those 3 runs were enough for Oxsping who decided that
he wasn’t going to give up anything else on the day and locked down the
Multiculturalists through to the 8th inning. Korean catcher Sung-Woo
Jang who wears so much body armour when hitting that it would make more sense
for him to walk into a pitch than try and hit it punched out. Purdhomme
grounded out to second, which brought Didi Gregorious to the dish. Gregoriuos
has had difficulty making solid contact in his 7 at bats to commence the season
but this appeared to have changed when he lined a ball to left. Unfortunately
it was close to 10pm and Techno Tim had to start making preparations for his
4am club arrival. Techno charged hard to his left on the fading liner, launched
himself so that he was horizontal to the ground and snagged the ball out of the
air. The crowd exploded to their feet and simultaneously broke out into the
running man in celebration. For that display, Techno Tim receives the Defensive
Specialist ‘Play of the Game’ for the second game running (man).
Dae Sung Koo was summoned from the pen in the 9th
and closed out the contest comfortably for his second save in as many
opportunities to secure the victory for the Blue Sox.
Oxspring was dominant once again, travelling 8
innings, giving up 2 runs and striking out 7. Offensively Techno Tim paced the
attack with 2 knocks along with the Bossman and Dening who led the way with 2
RBI’s. Manager Williams would still be concerned that his lower order is
offering nothing in the way of offense and that Stone Hands and Graham aren’t
providing much in the middle order. Having said that, if his starting pitchers
keep doing what Oxspring is doing, they’ll only need to score a couple per game
to be competitive. As much as The Defensive Specialist wants to give fan
favourite Techno Tim the Deep in the Hole ‘Player of the Game’ award, that
honour has to be bestowed on Oxpsing who is proving to be a force to be
reckoned with.
The Multiculturalists will be thankful to see the back
end of Oxspring as they head into game 2 as Wayne Lungren takes the ball for
the Blue Sox against lefty Steve Kent .
