Balmy Balmy Night

The only things that could have made viewing conditions better at the Blue Sox Multiculturalists clash on Friday evening would’ve been a steady supply of pina coladas and a Thai massage (no happy ending necessary). As late afternoon turned to dusk and the field became bathed in a warm golden light (look at your old pal getting all poetic on the readers right there!), the Defensive Specialist leaned back in his well located seat, surveyed the surroundings and decided that it really doesn’t get much better than this from a baseball viewing perspective.

While we’re on the viewing experience, the Defensive Specialist had the opportunity to chat with a buddy who’d been at the Brisbane Bandits home opener on Thursday night. Interestingly he said that if he hadn’t  been at the league launching game last week he would have rated the Brisbane experience as quite good. However, the Blue Sox experience really stood out for him with components that worked for all range of fans – kids, parents and baseball purists. Another interesting aside gleaned from his travels is that the ABL seems to be operating a cash-only economy. If you’re the type of person who only carries plastic then you’re going to be in a world of hurt and look like a degenerate when you have an armful of merchandise and not the prerequisite $495 in cash needed to seal the deal. Fortunately the Defensive Specialist always rolls with fat wads so he’ll be fine (did that just set the Defensive Specialist up to be jumped in the car park?).

Anyway, back to the game.

As you know, the Defensive Specialist applied the print equivalent of a blowtorch to both teams’ coaches responsible for infield outfield, and more specifically the catchers pop-up, in the past week. Both efforts last week were best described as feeble and while that may have been acceptable in the amateur Claxton Shield, we’re now in the big boys league and excellence is demanded. Canberra took the field first and coach Brent Phelan showed physical signs of being rattled with some less than stellar fungo work. When it came time to nail his dime piece, he tried unsuccessfully to covertly wipe the sweat off his hands – clear signs that his nerves had got the better of him. The ball toss looked ok but when it came to contact, well put it this way if he was playing tennis the cut backhand that resulted would have been exceptional. Unfortunately such a shot on the baseball diamond results in the ball heading out of the stadium rapidly. Phelan knew that he didn’t have the intestinal fortitude for another attempt and exited the playing field hastily.

Rumour has it that Blue Sox coach Jason Pospishil (that name NEVER gets any easier to spell and always auto corrects to popsicle so from now on its going to be Jason Popsicle) had spent the entire week working on his dime piece. The fungo work looked crisp and clean during the innie outtie but the proof would be in the pudding when it came to the money shot. Popsicle didn’t look as physically rattled as Phelan but stress doesn’t always manifest outwardly and who knew how badly his insides were twisting. To the untrained eye it would appear that Popsicle arched his back and put a good hack on it. To the Defensive Specialist’s acute eye Popsicle had a slight nerve induced micro twitch a nano second before contact. Although he managed good height, the slight hitch in his swing caused him to be late on the ball which sent it straight back. Although it stayed in the yard and in line with the plate, catcher Andy Graham snared it right on the screen which is barely acceptable at this level.

If things don’t improve on Saturday night, the Defensive Specialist may have to convene an emergency dime piece hitting session! The Blue Sox take the win in this contest but it’s a cheap W and one that you don’t tell your friends about over a beer.

The week break in between games gave both managers the flexibility to reuse their staff aces. Blue Sox skipper Glenn Williams seized that opportunity and wheeled his pitching coach Chris Oxspring back out to the mound. Oxspring was looking to replicate his first outing which would once again enable him to tell the rest of his pitching staff that he still has it and that they should all do it exactly as he does. The Multiculturalists had changed up their line-up offensively by adding the dangerous bat of Michael Collins and adding a new second baseman from parts unknown Tylor Purdhomme.

The Sydney in game entertainment crew has received positive reviews in this forum but perhaps does not get enough credit for the psychological battles they wage on opposing hitters. You’ve heard of hitters having walk up music as they approach the plate – typically a hitter will pick a song they like or that fires them up. Well the Blue Sox crew go the opposite direction and play the schmaltziest and schlockiest tunes they can find in the hope that it’ll drain every ounce of testosterone out of the hitters and prevent them from getting the ball out of the infield.

That approach definitely worked with Didi and Moon who both feebly grounded out to second but Nick Kimpton proved to be smarter than your average bear by stuffing toilet paper in his ears and then punching a ball into the 5.5 hole that Michael Lysaught couldn’t make a play on. Collins succumbed to the musical hypnosis and ended the inning by grounding out 4-3.

J.H Heo took the ball for the Multiculturalists and decided that his first ABL start was the perfect time to bust out his shiny white spikes with Velcro tabs instead of laces. This is a bad look on so many levels A) these shoes should only be worn by 65+ year olds at a lawn bowl match and B) nowhere in the baseball fashion universe does it say that white spikes are acceptable with an orange and black uniform. The baseball Gods will have their revenge the Defensive Specialist predicts!

Both pitchers cruised through 2 innings surrendering only 1 hit apiece (Heo gave up a crushed double by the Bossman to the right centre gap in the second) At the start of the third inning the Blue Sox in-game entertainment came crashing down with a dumb game that had 2 kids racing to put on oversized uniforms. It dragged on for what seemed like an hour and felt like a women’s change room at a major department store during a 75% off sale. It was so bad that it scrambled the announcing team who left Trent D’Antonio’s walk up music running during his at bat. Fortunately it happened to be the Defensive Specialist’s favourite band – Pearl Jam and inspired D’Antonio enough that he hammered a first pitch fastball out of the yard for the Blue Sox’s first run. Techno Tim pulled a double down the left-field line just as his lasers and 11,000 beats per minute walk up routine was turned off. Heo was on the ropes, but fortunately for him Mitch Dening has chosen a walk up song that is fairly soft to start with so he has to take a long slow walk to the plate in order to draw the song out enough until it gets to the macho part. This gave Heo enough time to regroup and get Dening on a 4-3 groundout.

The Multiculturalists struck back in the top of the 4^th when Nick Kimpton crushed a homerun to right. Kimpton broke out a somewhat disjointed homerun trot which appeared to be the result of the toilet paper in his ears getting caught in his spikes. Donald Lutz came up with a chalk raising double down the left line and Tom Vincent plated him with a  single to leftfield. As Lutz chugged for home there was a moment of indecision when Andy Graham weighed up blocking the plate and trying to back hand a short hop (and being steamrolled by Lutz who is a solid unit) or clearing out and avoiding all contact. He decided to avoid all contact, which was disappointing because Lutz Vs. Graham would have been the meeting of two immoveable objects.

The Blue Sox were at it again in the 5^th. David Kandilas led off with a firm line drive to right for a single and D’Antonio walked. Multiculturalist manager Steve Schrenk had seen enough and went to his pen, bringing in Jung-Min Lee. As Lee finished his warm up, the lights suddenly cut out and 13000 beats per minute came over the loud speakers. The fans leapt to their feet as the following instructional video was shown on the jumbotron. Yes, it was Techno Tim Auty time! Auty punched a ball through the infield for a single to load the bases. Dening unsuccessfully mugged his way to the plate, yet again denying the crowd a chance to hear the cool part of his song, but made up for it by belting a long drive to the right centre gap that hopped over the fence for a ground rule double plating two runners. Stone Hands Maat put an excuse me check swing on a ball to short that scored Techno and moved Dening to third. A scary moment took place when Graham scorched a line drive down the third base line that smashed in to Dening as he took his lead. For a second the Defensive Specialist thought the ball had struck Dening directly in his baby makers but when he promptly popped up the Defensive Specialist realised that his testicles had not been ruptured and the blow had been to the leg. Graham walked, which lead to Lee’s night being over. Lefty Chris Morgan relieved and despite not cracking 82mph managed to punch out the Bossman and Lysaught to end the inning.

Those 3 runs were enough for Oxsping who decided that he wasn’t going to give up anything else on the day and locked down the Multiculturalists through to the 8^th inning. Korean catcher Sung-Woo Jang who wears so much body armour when hitting that it would make more sense for him to walk into a pitch than try and hit it punched out. Purdhomme grounded out to second, which brought Didi Gregorious to the dish. Gregoriuos has had difficulty making solid contact in his 7 at bats to commence the season but this appeared to have changed when he lined a ball to left. Unfortunately it was close to 10pm and Techno Tim had to start making preparations for his 4am club arrival. Techno charged hard to his left on the fading liner, launched himself so that he was horizontal to the ground and snagged the ball out of the air. The crowd exploded to their feet and simultaneously broke out into the running man in celebration. For that display, Techno Tim receives the Defensive Specialist ‘Play of the Game’ for the second game running (man).

Dae Sung Koo was summoned from the pen in the 9^th and closed out the contest comfortably for his second save in as many opportunities to secure the victory for the Blue Sox.

Oxspring was dominant once again, travelling 8 innings, giving up 2 runs and striking out 7. Offensively Techno Tim paced the attack with 2 knocks along with the Bossman and Dening who led the way with 2 RBI’s. Manager Williams would still be concerned that his lower order is offering nothing in the way of offense and that Stone Hands and Graham aren’t providing much in the middle order. Having said that, if his starting pitchers keep doing what Oxspring is doing, they’ll only need to score a couple per game to be competitive. As much as The Defensive Specialist wants to give fan favourite Techno Tim the Deep in the Hole ‘Player of the Game’ award, that honour has to be bestowed on Oxpsing who is proving to be a force to be reckoned with.

The Multiculturalists will be thankful to see the back end of Oxspring as they head into game 2 as Wayne Lungren takes the ball for the Blue Sox against lefty Steve Kent .

Here we go again!

Imagine this conversation taking place sometime in 2007/ 2008 in the 78^th floor New York offices of Major League Baseball:

MLB Executive 1: “Geez, Bud’s all over our asses to come up with something interesting to promote and grow the game.

MLB Executive 2: “Relax, I’ve got this. Let’s start up a professional baseball league in Australia.”

MLB Executive 1: “Throw another shrimp on the barbie.”

MLB Executive 2: “Seriously, a league where we can send our prospects and develop more Aussie talent.”

MLB Executive 1: “Do they even have baseball down there?”

MLB Executive 2: “Dumb ass – Nilsson, Lloyd, Moylan, Balfour”

MLB Executive 1: “What about the weather?”

MLB Executive 2: “That’s the best bit, our winter is their summer. The weather is perfect!”

MLB Executive 1: “Surely Bud’ll fly us down there business class! Lets do it!”

Now cut back to Saturday November 6^th 2010

Game time weather report – 16 degrees Celsius, overcast and drizzling.

Sydney Blue Sox Vs. Canberra Multiculturalists

Despite the wet and blustery conditions, the Defensive Specialist was joined by 1999 other baseball fans for the inaugural game of the new ABL. The Defensive Specialist isn’t going to lie to you, it was pretty damn exciting to be there!

Initial thoughts?

·      The Blacktown Baseball Facility playing surface was a little rough. It looked like a dressage competition had been held on it a week prior. You know things aren’t in the best order when the grounds crew are using green paint to cover the ugly spots.

·      Maybe it was just for the season opener, but it looked like the Sydney promotional team was really laying on the fan experience. There was a bunch of stuff for the young fans to do and the game presentation was a hell of a lot more organised and professional (more on this to come) befitting a professional league. 

The first taste of baseball came when the teams took infield outfield. Loyal readers know how excited the Defensive Specialist gets over the coaches pop-up to the catcher and this would be the first chance to eyeball what the respective coaches were bringing to the table in 2010. The Multiculturalists took the field first and looked relatively slick with the only notable point of interest being the shiny red glove the Korean third baseman decided to break out. Coach Brett Phelan was handling the fungo for the Multiculturalists and when it came time to do the pop-up he looked agitated. It was obvious that he knew the Defensive Specialist was on hand and for his first time, he wanted to make an impression. The first attempt was woeful which would have rattled the cage of many. Instead Phelan steadied himself, took a deep breath and let rip. The second effort had solid height although it drifted down the third base line where the catcher took it.

The Sydney team stormed on to the field with the baseball loving Black Eyed Peas pumping on the sound system. Jason Pospishil was in charge for the Blue Sox (Graham Cassel was sporting a bandage on his hand as a result of a fungo accident earlier in the week which ruled him out) and handled the bat relatively well. Once again, he too seemed to notice the intense scrutiny that the Defensive Specialist placed upon him because his sphincter tightened when it came to the pop up and as a result he sailed both attempts out of play.

The Multiculturalists grab an early win!

With the new league kicking off the Defensive Specialist was expecting some pomp and ceremony. You’ll remember last year the Defensive Specialist was a little critical of the pregame and in game entertainment that came with the Claxton Shield. Bad choices of music, silly games between innings and ear splitting sound. How would a professional league address these issues? We were about to find out.

A well-clad gentleman confidently strode out onto the field with his run sheet and a wireless microphone. Then he went to speak……..and nothing. Microphone issues. The sound team scrambled and when he eventually went live after a few seconds he was LOUD and clear at approximately 500 decibels. Before the Defensive Specialist’s cochlear erupted, the mic cut out again. Then it came back on. Then it went off. The slick in game announcer (who was very good) scrambled and covered by telling the crowd to look out over the left field fence for a special guest.

The Defensive Specialist’s eagle eye spotted a light off in the distance. Was it a helicopter? The sound track to the Natural was playing and the Defensive Specialist must admit that he got goose bumps.  The fans waited and waited and waited. The announcer scrambled again realising that the helicopter was a little too far away and introduced the mascots. Eventually a different helicopter appeared from the sky and landed behind second base. The Defensive Specialist sat forward in his seat, expecting Grant Balfour or Peter Moylan to jump out, stride to the mound and pump a ceremonial first pitch fastball on the black at 90mph. Alas that wasn’t to be, but they did find a kid who was born on the day of the last game of the first ABL (13/1/99) who fired a strike. Interestingly, the helicopter in the distance was actually a police helicopter that had been dispatched to investigate the mysterious yellow chopper hovering over the baseball stadium and in close proximity to the Richmond airfield. How close did fans come to witnessing an 11-year-old baseball fan getting blown out of the sky by the authorities who’d perceived a threat on national security? We’ll never know!

Some Australian Idol contestant belted out a disjointed national anthem and the fireworks gave off more second hand smoke than a natural medicine convention in Nimbin. Sure there were speed bumps but all in all it was a pretty solid first up effort by the Blue Sox promotions team and surely will get slicker.

You don’t necessarily come to Deep in the Hole to hear about fungos and firework so lets get into the game activity.

33-year-old right hander Chris Oxpsring got the opening day start for the Blue Sox and was set to face Multiculturalists shortstop Didi Gregorious who is an early contender for name of the year. The sound guy blasted Justin Bieber as he walked to the plate in a deliberate attempt to emasculate him. Oxspring established the tone immediately, pumping a first pitch fastball for strike one. Didi flew out meekly to centrefield and the season was off and running.

Lefty Steve Kent took the ball for the Multiculturalists and made short work of Blue Sox lead off hitter Trent D’Antonio. As soon as the out was made, the stadium lights were cut off and the field descended into darkness. As fans began to worry about their safety, green lasers pierced the night air, dry ice drifted in from the bullpens and 9000 beats per minute came over the loud speakers. Yes that’s right, it was Techno Tim Auty. The crowd leapt to their feet and waved their glow sticks, which clearly inspired Techno Tim as he laced a line drive over second base for the first hit of the 2010 season. Mitch Dening then erased Techno’s good work by grounding into a double play 4-6-3.

Some players just love the big stage and our boy Techno Tim is one of those guys. The second inning saw S.Y Lee slice a fading line drive to left field that Techno Tim got horizontal on and snared just in fair territory. The catch had the crowd doing ‘big fish, little fish, cardboard box’ in unison and was enough to earn him Defensive Specialist “Play of the Game” honours.

Oxspring and Kent both rolled through the second with the only speed bump for Kent being a base on balls to Boss Moanaroa (also a contender for name of the year). As predicted, Kent was on a short leash and was gone by the third inning, replaced by Michael Lennox.

The Multiculturalists mounted an attack on Oxspring in the 4^th with K. H Moon singling to right. Nick Kimpton then hit a 97 hopper through the infield to right, Moon got on his horse and rounded second as right fielder David Kandilas charged the ball and unleashed an absolute rocket to third base on a line to shoot the Moon down. Rally dead.

The 6^th inning saw Boss Moanaroa absolutely butcher an infield pop up that had the Defensive Specialist pining for Pat ‘Stone Hands” Maat  (who was DH’ing). Fortunately it didn’t lead to any damage. The Blue Sox got some offense going in the bottom of the 6^th against Korean import J.M Lee. Kandilas walked, D’Antonio singled crisply to left. Techno Tim dropped down a perfect sac bunt 5-3. Dening was intentionally put on base as Multiculturalist skipper Steve Shrenk went to the mound to talk to his Korean pitcher and catcher. That would have been an interesting conversation because nowhere on Shrenk’s resume does it state that he speaks Korean. Perhaps they used the international language of love? Whatever they said, it worked as Lee punched out Stone Hands and then got a feeble come backer from Andrew Graham to extinguish the threat.

Oxspring was relieved in the 7^th by lefty David Welch. Pretty impressive outing by Oxspring, 6 innings, 3 hits, 1 BB, 8 strike outs. With a total lack of offense the Defensive Specialist was steeling himself for a long night featuring extra innings. The Blue Sox had different ideas. With two out in the bottom of the 8^th, Techno Tim Auty realising that the dance clubs would be opening in about 5 hours dropped a single into left field. The Defensive Specialist cannot be sure, but Techno Tim may have been distracted by the first base coach whispering in his ear about a hot new club, because he was all over the shop when Dening took the count to 3-2.  Techno took off running like he believed it was a full count and was only safe because of a bad throw by the catcher. Dening then dumped a soft single into centre as Auty crumped into home plate for the first run of the season. Dening stole second and then Stone Hands laced a ball into centre that Kimpton made an excellent catch on to end the inning.

The Blue Sox sent Matt Williams out to start the 9^th inning and he nailed down the first two outs. With the dangerous Kimpton due up next, manager Glenn Williams called upon geriatric Korean Dae Song Koo to close it out. The 41 year old lefty is going to be murder on left handed hitters this year and showcased this by striking out Kimpton for the save and the Blue Sox first win of the campaign.

Sydney 1- Canberra 0

If game 1 is anything to go by, we’re going to see some decent arms rolled out to the mound each and every week and the offense may struggle somewhat. Granted its early in the season and pitching tends to be ahead of hitting but the Defensive Specialist suspects that the upgrade in pitching is going to mean some low scoring affairs.

As much as the Defensive Specialist wants to hand the Deep in the Hole player of the game trophy to Techno Tim Auty for his 2 hit, game winning run and stellar catch performance, you really cant go past Chris Oxspring who was dominant in his first outing and set the tone for the Blue Sox season. All in all it was a great opening to the ABL season both on and off the field and the Defensive Specialist is proud to say he was there.

Having almost cracked the 2000 word mark, the Defensive Specialist needs to sign off. Do not fret though; Deep in the Hole will be alive later this week

with a “What has the Defensive Specialist learned” and other assorted baseball related thoughts.

Time to lay them on the line.

Well by the time most humanoids read this, we’ll be one day away from the opening game of the inaugural “new ABL”. Being a stickler for detail, the Defensive Specialist has his equipment bag packed and his uniform on in preparation for game day. Many have asked what goes into making the Defensive Specialist’s comprehensive reviews and up until recently this has always been something that your old pal has kept close to his chest for fear of imitation. With age comes a sense of comfort in one’s own ability so for the first time ever, the Defensive Specialist is prepared to announce what goes into his game day equipment bag:

·       1 radar gun with a back up battery

·       2 stop watches

·       1 pitch counter

·       A comprehensive range of offensive and defensive charts

·       12 fish oil tablets (to keep the joints loose)

·       UVF 100+

·       Eye black

·       Wide brimmed hat

·       Vaseline (to avoid chaffing)

·       15 pens

·       Glove lacing tool

·       Lap top

·       Back up laptop

·       4 litres of H2O

As you can see, the Defensive Specialist is nothing short of prepared, but all the preparation in the world cannot make up for a keen eye and a sound understanding of the game. It’s with this innate sense of the game that the Defensive Specialist is pleased to bring you the opening game preview!

Before the Defensive Specialist launches into it, a quick update has to be made to yesterday’s uniform review. Word reached the Defensive Specialist today that the Heat will only be wearing a white uniform this season and that the players actually decided that they would be wearing black undershirts rather than red. Great news on the black sleeves, but a massive disappointment on the white uniforms. The rating had to be dropped to a 7/10 for that error in fashion judgement.

Ok on to the preview.

Well actually it’s not going to be that simple since the Defensive Specialist wasn’t able to get a line up for the Canberra Multiculturalists, and the Blue Sox 22 man roster wasn’t posted anywhere it could be easily accessed. Not to worry, lets cover what we do know.

Sydney Blue Sox

P- Chris Oxspring

C – Ben Graham

1b – Patrick “Stone Hands” Maat

2b- Mark Holland

3b- ?

SS- Michael Lysaught

LF- ?

CF- Mitch Dening

RF- David Kandilas

DH- ?

The Defensive Specialist chatted briefly with Glenn Williams today who indicated that AAA import Scott Campbell has had his season kyboshed by the Toronto Blue Jays who’d prefer to mothball him until spring training as he rehabs a hip injury sustained during the season. That obviously creates a hole at third base that may be filled by Trent D’Antonio. DH and leftfield are also question marks at this stage and at the time of press the Defensive Specialist really had no idea who’d fill the holes. If baseball fans are lucky, Williams will do the right thing and insert Deep in the Hole favourite ‘Techno’ Tim Auty and his day glow batting gloves in to the line up. Nothing will announce the opening of the ABL like Techno Tim’s 6000 beats per minute walk-up music that will have the sell out crowd pushing up lasers in unison.

Offensively the team is very similar to last year’s squad. Lysaught will likely lead off with a middle order of D’Antonio, Dening, Stone Hands Maat, Graham and Kandilas. The pitching staff appears to be the real strong point with a number of pro players making themselves available in 2010. Oxspring is an unknown quantity after a year off but the old pro should gobble up innings and allow the bullpen to go to work.

Canberra Multiculturalists

As mentioned, the Defensive Specialist wasn’t able to use his considerable charm and get a starting line up but was relieved when he saw that the 22 man roster had been posted on the website. Eagerly clicking on the link, the Defensive Specialist was pumped to see 9 Australians! Seriously without a line up, this

will be a total crap shoot:

P- Steve Kent

C - ?

1b -?

2b- ?

3b- ?

SS- ?

LF- Tom Vincent

CF- Nick Kimpton

RF- ?

DH-?

You’d have to assume that the Korean players will get every opportunity to play, which is exciting because its been a long time since the Defensive Specialist has seen high leg kicks (an Asian baseball hitting specialty). You’d expect Kimpton to lead off, but with Collins missing his bat may be needed in the 3 hole. Andrew Schmidt is an interesting story (ignore the fact that he isn’t wearing a belt in the photo) and everyone’s favourite David Washington (D Wash) is on the team as an infielder so perhaps we’ll see him at second base and tearing up the base paths.

ACT native Steve Kent gets the ball for his hometown team and should keep the Multiculturalists in the contest early, but he’ll likely be on a short leash inning wise. Once it gets to the bullpen its anyone’s guess really as the Defensive Specialist doesn’t see a whole lot of names that jump out at him.

As for a bold prediction? Well the Blue Sox are most definitely not the best collection of Australian talent to ever take the diamond as Mark Peters suggested, but they are a solid team and the Defensive Specialist expects them to put the Multiculturalists to the sword to kick off the season. Despite not knowing the vast majority of the Canberra roster, the Defensive Specialist is eager to see how their eclectic mix of talents and culture mesh.

The Defensive Specialist needs to hit the sack and get at least 18 hours sleep to ensure that he is fresh and mentally alert for his 9am arrival at the Blacktown Baseball facility on game day and the likelihood that he’ll be called upon to throw out the first pitch of the season!