Alright, we’re locked and loaded for game 3 which is always more exciting when both teams have won one each and are scrambling to take out the series. The good news? Happy hour at the ballpark which has seen more Victoria Bitter beer consumed in NSW than ever before – it’s amazing what people will drink for 2 bucks!
The powers that be decided to bust out a full introduction for both teams so it will be interesting to see if they took any of the Defensive Specialist’s tips from Game 1 and applied them here to enhance the experience. WHOA! It looks like they have; we’re getting the team’s read out in batting order! The Defensive Specialist has clout.
Scratch that, the NSW pitcher just ran out onto the field again during intro’s. The Defensive Specialist can sense the Baseball Gods rumbling again, especially after Tim Cox pulled the same stunt and got reamed last night. Don’t people learn?
Jarret Commane gets the ball for the Patriots in game 3. The Defensive Specialist has to be honest with you, he’s never heard of this dude before – NSW’s pitching staff may feature heavily in next weeks “What the Defensive Specialist learned from this series” piece.
For South Australia in the first inning, David Washington led off with a single through the box and broke all Australian records for handclaps running down the line celebrating a knock in the first inning of a game. He was then thrown out trying to steal second. Commane retired the next two hitters to end the inning.
South Australia gave game 3 responsibilities to imposing sidearmer Dushan Ruzic. Michael Lysaught kept up his recent form by singling to centre to start the game. He then stole second base and advanced on a poor throw from the catcher. Dizzy Holland and D’Antonio both punched out, but Mitch Denning saved the inning by doubling down the left field scoring Lysaught. Ruzic got Andy Graham to ground to third to end the inning.
NSW 1-0
The second and third innings travelled smoothly for both pitchers. Commane was frustrating his pitching coach with his propensity to issue walks (6 for the game), while Ruzic was in cruise control retiring the side in order in both innings.
The top of the 4th started interestingly with the infamous bat spin game involving crowd participation. Unlike game 1 where a couple of senseless adults decided to participate, only kids were involved. Proving that people will laugh anytime someone falls down, 2 contestants ran into each other and went arse over tea kettle immediately and had the entire crowd tittering with delight.
NSW got back on the scoreboard in the bottom of the 4th. Denning hit a weak sauce grounder just in front of the mound. Ruzic bounded over, scooped up the ball and then proceeded to launch a 93 mph fastball off Denning’s spinal chord as he was running down the line. Safe. Denning then moved up to second base on a passed ball, which is a miracle in itself considering he had so sensation in his lower half. He then advanced to third on a Graham 5-3 putout. Stonehands Pat Maat then hit an angry groundball at first-baseman Ryan Murphy who soundly booted it allowing Denning to roll home in his wheelchair. Techno Tim Auty grounded out 5-4 to end the inning.
South Australia had had enough by this stage and decided to respond. After Commane retired the first two hitters, he served up a single to Josh Cakebread to centre who then advanced on a wild pitch. This brought Washington to the plate and had the Defensive Specialist choking on his non-salted nut mix as the announcer referred to him as D Wash. My Lord. He walked. Jeremy Cresswell also walked to load the bases. Commane kept the free passes coming as he issued four balls to Stefan Welch with the bases drunk to force in a run. He rectified the situation by punching out Murphy to end the inning.
NSW 2-1
NSW threatened again in the bottom of the 5th. Ruzic got David Kandilas to fly out to centre for out number one. Posphosil then hit a fly ball to left field that Ben Wigmore thoroughly butchered resulting in a double. In this series, Wigmore has turned more outs into hits than Kanye West and Autotune. Fortunately Ruzic was able to nab both Lysaught and Holland to escape unharmed.
Ok, so the Defensive Specialist isn’t always a curmudgeon when it comes to in game entertainment. NSW in fact runs his favourite activity. Basically it involves getting every kid in attendance down the right field line and then unleashing them to chase the mascot. The first kid to get him gets a free pizza. This leads to 1000 kids desperately sprinting after the poor mascot who cant get any speed up in his costume. Once he is brought down by the first kid with a spear tackle, the remainder of the urchins pile on almost crushing him and raising serious OH&S issues for baseball in NSW. Great clean fun!
Todd Van Steensel relieved Commane in the 6th for NSW. He was greeted by a Michael Collins single to right. After retiring Wigmore on a fly to centre, Wilson singled firmly to centre. Techno Tim Auty over ran the ball and it scooted to the fence. Collins scored from first and Wilson sniffed the opportunity to go for an in the parker. Wilson approached third hard as base coach Haylock got a semi and wanted to send him home. All of a sudden he threw up the stop sign but Wilson had rounded too far. The shortstop made a bad throw to third, allowing Wilson to score. Mathew Smith then singled to centre and stole second. Cakebread hit a line drive to Denning in left who made the catch and attempted a running throw to second base to try to force Smith out at second. The throw got away but was backed up and Smith did not advance. The reason for that story? Well it caused Mrs. Defensive Specialist to look up from her book and state: “Geez these boys really have the fumble fingers on tonight”. Don’t think for a second that the Defensive Specialist wont be using that from here on out.
Lee Ingram replaced Van Steensel as D Wash stepped to the dish. He promptly singled up the middle and busted out 13 handclaps as he ran down the line. Smith scored. D Wash then took off for second as NSW pitched out, only to see Ingram throw it over the catcher’s head - fumble fingers! Cresswell walked. Welch then hit a scorched line drive into centre that Techno Tim Auty fumble fingered allowing D Wash to score, Cresswell to advanced to third and Welch to astutely move into second. Ingram punched out Murphy to stem the bleeding.
SA 5-2
The Patriots weren’t about to fumble finger their way out of the series. With one out, Denning doubled to left. Graham was dosed. This brought Stone Hand Maat to the dish who drove a ball squarely to centrefield for a double, scoring both Denning and Graham. Techno Tim Auty grounded out to the shortstop and Kandilas drove in Stone Hands with a single to centre. Game tied up.
5-5
Offense was now on the menu as South Australia batted in the 7th. Collins walked and Wigmore grounded a ball to the shortstop’s left that Lysaught dove for, speared and gunned to first for the force out, in the process earning himself the Deep in the Hole Play of the Game. To make it even better, the game was paused for 5 minutes while the trainer assessed Lysaught’s ruptured testicles that he had used to brace his fall. Ingram rode the momentum to close the inning with no further damage.
Richard Bartlett (who sounds like a newsreader) relived Ruzic in the 7th but wasn’t tested until the 8th. Denning picked up his third hit of the game with a single to right. Graham grounded out to the first baseman allowing Denning to advance to second. Stone Hands Maat then hit a high chopper over the outstretched glove of 5’3 shortstop Cresswell that plated Denning to put NSW up 6-5. Techno Tim Auty ended the inning by grounding into a 6-4-3 double play as glow sticks were angrily tossed onto the field.
NSW called on Tim Atherton to close it out. He walked Murphy to start the inning. Collins sacrificed him over to second. Angus Roeger came on to pinch run for Murphy at second. Wigmore than hit a deep drive to centrefield that Roeger inexplicably did not tag up and advance on. Lets be honest, Roeger had a series he would rather forget. Atherton closed the NSW victory by punching out Wilson for the final out.
Final score NSW 6-5
The Deep in the Hole Player of the Game goes to Mitch Denning who went 3 – 4 with 2 doubles, 3 runs and an RBI. The Defensive Specialist is secure enough in his manhood to go on record and state that he loves Denning’s smooth left handed stroke (that sounded a little homo erotic). Stone Hands Maat was a close second with 2 knocks (including a double and 3 RBI’s).
NSW dragged themselves up off the canvas by taking the last two games of the series and in doing so put themselves back in the play-off hunt. South Australia will be desperate to return to home soil next weekend and will hope to put the Patriots to the sword as they square off again.
The Defensive Specialist has a busy few weeks ahead with a schedule that includes “What the Defensive Specialist has learned” which will breakdown the ins and outs of the last series. On top of that the Defensive Specialist has to continue his quest to find Australia’s best Major Leaguer and then next week the Defensive Specialist has a surprise Christmas treat for all the loyal readers.
Now if you’ll excuse the Defensive Specialist, he has to hit the karaoke bars while Bon Jovi is fresh in his mind!
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