Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Please take a Seat


To the 138 people who sent the Defensive Specialist an email inquiring after the Defensive Specialist’s health – thank you for your concern. Fortunately no harm or illness has befallen Australia’s preeminent baseball blogger. The issue that’s caused the Defensive Specialist’s absence is a rather severe case of writers block. Ordinarily the Defensive Specialist is bubbling with ideas, thoughts and comments but the longer this offseason has dragged on with nary a trace of information about the ABL available, the dryer the well of creativity has become.

The Defensive Specialist has tried everything to get the juices flowing including transcendental meditation  (no new ideas but definite changes in bowel movement), writers retreat (creativity remained low but the Defensive Specialist found a multitude of drug sources should the Defensive Specialist ever decide to become a drug addict) and hypnotherapy (zippo on the thought front but the Defensive Specialist no longer bites his fingernails).

You can see by the measures the Defensive Specialist under took that the Defensive Specialist takes educating the baseball public very seriously. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s tough to make chicken salad from chicken shit.

Just as the Defensive Specialist was considering outsourcing the writing of Deep in the Hole to a foreign country and paying for content, an email arrived at the Deep in the Hole mailbox. It wasn’t much, but it was something! This Thursday, the Defensive Specialist gets to go and choose his season ticket holders seat at the Blacktown Baseball Facility (You know the going is getting tough when the Defensive Specialist is crapping on about seat allocation). Anyway, the most exciting part of the whole process was finally learning the Defensive Specialist’s commemorative lifetime Blue Sox membership number:

383

The Defensive Specialist is not going to lie to you, that is exactly the number he wanted! Or 11. Anyway 383 is now the Defensive Specialist’s forever (in the Sydney Blue Sox baseball community) and may very well end up tattooed on the Defensive Specialist’s sculptured physique. If the Defensive Specialist should ever find himself desolate and in despair, expect to see that number on eBay going to the highest bidder.

Other things that the Defensive Specialist will get to do on Thursday night:

·      An informal ‘meet & greet’ with players and staff of the Sydney Blue Sox.
·      Enjoy a sausage sizzle.
·      Watch the Sydney Blue Sox train.

Although the Defensive Specialist doesn’t expect many of the big name players to be in attendance, it will be interesting to see what sort of talent is on hand this early in the season and how the team is stacking up. The Defensive Specialist aims to be back on Friday morning with a comprehensive review of the seat selection evening including a blow by blow commentary should any fisticuffs breakout during the process (after all choosing ones seat can become a contentious issue). Additional information that the Defensive Specialist hopes to glean from the evening includes uniforms, coaching staff and facilities. Stay tuned for Friday. Oh and the Defensive Specialist had better get his pair of blue socks! And a sausage.

(It’s a good thing the season is only 39 days away because writing about seat allocation may be making the Defensive Specialist dumber)

1 comment:

  1. Mr Defensive Specialist

    Personally I'm excited about seat allocations. I look forward to guiding you through your very own personal seat allocation (I'm sure like me it'll be a very emotional experience). After that I'll personally cook your snag and top up the Ketchup bottle specially. If you've got time available I'll sit down and 'shoot the breeze with you' about this summer. If you're lucky 'Dening' & 'Techno Tim' are going to show off their dance steps they've been working on over winter!

    See you Thursday night.
    Regards The GM xxx

    ReplyDelete