Sunday, November 8, 2009

6 1/3 innings and then a leaky bullpen – Sung to the tune of 6 months in a leaky boat by Split Enz (Game 2)


The Defensive Specialist woke up on Saturday morning with sunlight streaming through the window of his room.  The warmth washing over the bed was soothing and uplifting. The Defensive Specialist reached over and hit the buzzer next to the bed, which resulted in the duty nurse rushing in.

 “What’s wrong?” she inquired.

“The Defensive Specialist is healed and ready to check out,” The Defensive Specialist stated with conviction.

“That’s impossible! You don’t come into the emergency room with frost bite, battle to save your appendages and simply check out the next day,” admonished the duty nurse.

The Defensive Specialist held up his now unbandaged paws and exclaimed “the Defensive Specialist has the best hands in the game!”

The duty nurse performed the sign of the cross and scurried away to get the discharge paperwork. She knew what she had just witnessed.

With weather conditions forecast to be significantly warmer than Friday night’s contest, the Defensive Specialist knew it was time to shrug off the ill-effects of the cold from the night before (even frostbite) to ensure that full coverage was provided.

Once again Perth Heat took infield outfield 2 hours before the game started – perhaps so that the players could get back to the respite of the dugout to spritz and freshen before the game. Perth Heat manager Don Kyle, potentially buckling under the pressure of the Defensive Specialist’s 6.5 rating of his catcher pop-up the day before went 0 for 3 in his attempts. Don, you need to relax and stay within yourself. Don’t force it! It was all academic anyway as Victoria didn’t take innie outtie, as rumours abounded that coach Damian Shanahan’s fungo control issues from Friday had spiralled out of control to the point that the entire exercise had to be cancelled. Kyle 1- Shanahan 0.

The Defensive Specialist is pleased to announce that the criticism levelled at the pre-game introductions and activities was taken on board by the game’s administrators and noticeable changes were put into effect to make the experience better for all present. The one real negative was the Christian rock music that was being pumped over the speakers early in the game. The boys were here to play baseball, not find salvation! The Defensive Specialist actually had to turn down a number of requests throughout the day to consult on ballpark ambiance as it would detract from the content of this blog.  One free piece of advice to the Victoria Aces however – ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ by Guns ‘N’ Roses is simply the greatest song to play at loud volume as your team takes the field.

With the temperature now reaching legitimate ball sweat stage, it was time to get things underway. The Aces sent lefty Donavon Hendriks to the bump, looking to take the series with a game 2 victory. Heat lead-off hitter, Mitch Graham promptly hit a soft liner to centrefield and the game was underway.  Nick Kimpton flew out to centre bringing Allan De San Miguel to the plate. If there is any more compelling reason to maintain daylight saving in Western Australia, it was on display at this moment. Hendriks picked off Mitch Graham at first who looked like he was suffering the ill effects of the 3 hour time difference between Perth and Victoria and was taking the opportunity while leading off first to power nap. Wakey wakey. The inning ended with De San Miguel flying out to left.

The Heat handed the ball to long time Deep in the Hole whipping boy Daniel Schmidt. It’s been quite some time since the Defensive Specialist had barbequed Schmidt, but during warm ups it was evident that the young man had blossomed. The Defensive Specialist nearly choked on that thought as the Aces lead-off hitter, Scott Wearne scorched a line drive to shortstop that AK47 (Andy Kyle) couldn’t handle. Paul Weichard then hit into a 4-6-3 double play and the Defensive Specialist was able to put away all of his Melville Monkey (Schmidt’s club in WA) jokes that had been brewing over the past 4 years.

The Heat first dented the scoreboard in the 3rd inning. AK47 reached after Hayden Dingle made a fine diving play at first only to negate it by over throwing Hendriks covering first. Graham lined out to right and Kimpton hit into a fielders choice that forced AK47 at second. With a runner on first and two out, De San Miguel doubled to deep left field scoring Kimpton. The Aces answered immediately as Grant Karlsen walked and Matthew Lawman lined a single to centre. After a Wearne 3-6-3 double play, Weichard singled to right to plate Karlsen.

The 5th inning saw the Heat offense get going again. Hendriks offered a change up to Graham who was fooled, got out in front and walked the dog on it with enough juice to get it out of the yard for a solo homerun.  Kimpton then destroyed a double to centrefield and moved up on a passed ball. De San Miguel hit a Chinese line drive just over shortstop to score Kimpton. Chris House was victimised by the umpire’s liberal interpretation of the strike zone to end the inning.

Heat up 3 -0.

Matthew Blackmore relived Hendriks in the 6th. The only eventful thing that happened in the inning was a line drive by Aaron Ottoway that missed caving Blackmore’s face in by about 1 inch. The ball was hit so hard that Blackmore didn’t even flinch.

Daniel Schmidt to this point had produced a sterling effort, cruising through 6 innings with only the one run. After a quick out, Lawman punched his third hit of the day to leftfield for a single. Wearne then crushed a double to right centre driving Lawman in. Weichard was intentionally walked and Travis Murphy and his Elvis Presley tribute white shoes were summoned from the Heat bullpen. Murphy induced a groundball right back at him for a force out at first and then K’d Brad Harman who had clearly forgotten to bring his bat for this series to escape the inning.

Murphy was sent back out to the mound in the 8th with a 3-2 lead. It was at this point that the wheels of the bus began to shake violently. Josh Davies led off with a single to centre. Hayden Dingle then hit a line drive off the top of the left field wall. It was hit so hard in fact that Davies had to hold at second and Dingle was credited with a 378 foot single. Tristen McDonald sacrificed the runners over. Elliot Biddle (replacing Gourlay) singled to right to tie the ballgame. Lawman hit an angry shot at garden gnome Aaron Ottoway at third who managed to dive and knock it down but had no play which plated another run. The front wheel was now completely off the bus as Wearne doubled down the right field line to drive in Biddle and leave runners on second and third.  Heat Manager Don Kyle sprinted to the mount with a jack and a spare tire but the damage had been done.

Lefty Nathan Driessen was summoned from the pen and as if to show that the strike zone wasn’t just abnormally wide for the Heat, punched out Weichard on a pitch that may have ended up in the 3rd base dugout. Driessen then walked Russell and Harman (to plate another run) before Davies singled to centre. Kimpton made a solid throw to the dish that De San Miguel couldn’t handle as two runs scored. Mercifully the inning ended when Dingle grounded out to second.

Nothing like a 6 bomb in the 8th to help your cause!

The Aces closed down the Heat line-up in the 9th for a hard fought come from behind win. Final Score 8-3.

The Defensive Specialist was impressed by Schmidt’s composure and execution as he subdued the Aces line up for 6 1/3 innings however, the Defensive Specialist player of the game goes to the Aces Matthew Lawman who had 4 knocks (including a double) and scored twice.  Once again the RSL Cabaret singer was on hand to perform in game MC duties and it is probably at this point that the Defensive Specialist offers one more piece of free advice – do away with the post game interview! It is clear that the players are chaffing under the burden of having to talk about themselves and the game, especially when you ask a guy who just got 4 knocks “do you always hit like that?” Well, if he did, he would be a major league superstar earning 25 million a year.

The Defensive Specialist – here to help!

Tune in Monday for Game 3





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